Funds for a wedding, whose responsibility?
Times have indeed changed and hence, the lines of who pays for what when it comes to weddings in 2017 are definitely blurred. Who pays for the reception venue, wedding attires? Who covers the wedding rings? How about the food, venue and decor?
First of all, we have to throw up the disclaimer that there is no official ruling regulating who funds a wedding. I can imagine that all the ladies will be giving me a *side eye* for this – but ladies, be honest nobody has to know if you supported your man by picking up some of the wedding expenses – because you love him and you want to help him especially if you insist on getting that Diamond ring from Saint Tracy that you have been eyeing on our website – not to worry sha, we have Saint Tracy Kekere to help you purchase just about any ring your heart desires – but I digress!
Traditionally, except you’re either a Yoruba or an Idoma bride, other parts of Nigeria – require that the groom's family foots the majority of the bill.
However, recent research has revealed that today's couples are spending more of their own money to have the wedding of their dreams.
I always recommend that couples communicate about their financial capabilities before getting married – so there are no surprises – if you want a huge wedding complete with all the razzmatazz – and your parents aren’t financially buoyant to support you – it really makes no sense to spend your salary for one year – just because you want to trend for a short while – you don’t want to enter your marriage in debts – it is not worth it!!!
You may decide to hire a wedding planner who can help ensure you stay within your budget – or get a trusted friend or aunt to help monitor you.
Below we suggest a guide on who should foot what expenses at the wedding:
Bride price / Bride’s & Parents - In-law’s clothes
The groom and his family usually pay the bride price including accompaniments like cow, wine, yam, salt etc. – according to the custom and practice of the bride’s family – (this is a norm for most cultures in the South Eastern part of Nigeria where I come from).
All the bride and her parent’s attires, including accessories, for the special occasion are also paid for by the groom. He is also responsible for his own outfits as well as his parents. He may also be expected to buy clothes for all relatives of the brides such as siblings, cousins that are present during the occasion.
Traditionally, the groom should buy the engagement and wedding sets. But if you’re unsure of what your lady would like, you can come into our store together or check online with her – (yes, it is 2017 and she can totally choose her engagement ring) or a close friend/ family who has an idea of what she would like can also help you pick out something nice for her. If you have no one to help you and you want to make it a surprise, come into any of our stores located in Ikeja, Lekki, Abuja and Port Harcourt – we will be glad to help you pick one that will make her happy.
It is also okay for you to come in with your future wife to pick out your wedding sets, after all she’s going to be wearing it for a long time to come.
If you plan to have a wedding whether big or small, it only makes sense that you have someone coordinating everything. You don’t want to be worrying about venue décor or bridal party days to your wedding. However, depending on your finances, you could get a trusted family – mostly an older aunt from the bride’s family to help you oversee this. If you choose to use a family or friend, then you generally only have to give a token to this person, if at all – but if you hire someone – then the bride’s family has to cover the costs.
The invitations and all corresponding stationery cost should be covered by the bride and her family. In addition, the bride and/or her family should pay for the reception costs including food, music, guest favors, and any rentals. The groom and/or his family take care of the wedding reception venue, drinks, marriage license and the officiant fee as required.
All photography and videography expenses are usually covered by the bride and/or her family – or the couple might choose to pitch in with their resources.
The groom and his family cover accommodation and transportation if he and the bride needs to travel to the wedding. The bride and her family promise accommodations for all bridesmaids, and, all their party's transportation needed for the big day. Meanwhile, the groom and his family tend to the lodging and transportation of the groom's family and groomsmen.
The bride and groom should generally plan and save towards their honeymoon. After all, they are the ones going on their dream vacation – but if your father is Dangote or Otedola, sic he might as well pay for it lol!
As we have mentioned earlier, this is just a guide and nothing is set in stone, if you’re an OBO – “Omo Baba Olowo” or you and your man have the funds, you can do as you both please as long as you’re both happy – because that’s what you want to be on your big day – HAPPY!